The antidote to loneliness is authenticity. If you can be your authentic self, you’re less likely to ever be lonely. This includes being honestly self-aware and being able to connect with at least one other person in a genuine way. Many of us can relate to being lonely in a crowd or group where we feel we don’t belong. Loneliness is less about being around other people and more about being your whole self. When you accept and appreciate who you really are, you’re even less likely to feel lonely when you’re alone.
Why loneliness matters
Your friends, allies and supporters help you celebrate and acknowledge good things that happen in your life. They can also be a source of strength and support when you face the inevitable challenges, setbacks and disappointments of life.
Social connection can bring these benefits to your life:
- Increased sense of belonging and purpose
- Boost in your happiness
- Reduced stress
- Improved confidence and sense of self-worth
- Help coping with big life changes and challenges like divorce, illness, job loss and grief
- Encouragement to make healthy lifestyle choices
- Better managed negative thinking and mood
In short, social connection can help you be more resilient to stress. This can improve your health and sense of overall well-being. Research shows that when you feel supported, you experience:
- Lower blood pressure
- Better hormone function
- Stronger immune system
- Reduced inflammation
Strong social ties may help to stave off memory loss as you age, buffer against depression and even help you live longer.
A sense of belonging and connection in your workplace is also an important factor, improving your ability to:
- Collaborate successfully
- Move your ideas forward
- Make any change, uncertainty and stress you experience at work more manageable
Because you spend many of your waking hours at work, the connection you feel there can impact other areas of your life.
If you’re feeling lonely, you’re not alone
Loneliness is a common feeling. In a 2021 Canadian Social Survey, more than one in 10 people aged 15 and older said they always or often felt lonely. Three in 10 respondents said they sometimes felt lonely.
Loneliness can be triggered by several things, like:
- Shyness or social anxiety
- Re-location for work or other reasons
- A recent setback or disappointment
- Loss and grief
- Stepping back from a social circle that wasn’t promoting healthy lifestyle choices, such as when recovering from an addiction
- Stigma or exclusion
- If you feel alone at work you may want to suggest Evidence-based actions for inclusion or team building activities to your leader
- Stress
- Answer the questions in Assessing your current situation to get a picture of what’s going on in your life right now
- Anxiety and depression, which can also contribute to feelings of loneliness and can act as a vicious cycle
- Self-assessment health tools can help you explore whether further assessment would be beneficial
If you feel like anxiety or depression is impacting the quantity or quality of your relationships, explore ways you can manage your emotions and reach out to a trusted friend, family member or mental health practitioner for support.
Making social connections
If you’re looking to grow your social network, here are some ideas to try:
- Go to events that interest you where you can meet like-minded people, such as:
- A book reading
- Public talk
- Art walk
- Club
- Sports game
- Don’t worry if you don’t have anyone to go with. You might be surprised at how easy it is to strike up a conversation with people who share your interests.
- Sign up for a class or professional development course. Taking a class at a local community centre, college, or through work can be a low-stress way to build rapport and meet new people. You can go alone or invite a personal or professional acquaintance you’d like to get to know better.
- Volunteer. Giving back in your community or joining a committee or a fundraising campaign at work can help you build strong connections with others who share similar values and interests. Helping others can also boost your mood.
- Invite people to spend time with you. Being with people you enjoy is good for your mood. There’s also potential to build new social connections through them. If anyone has invited you out in the past, they may be an ideal person to invite to spend time with you. Also consider others who may be lonely and looking for connection.
- Say yes. It can be hard to find time, or maybe you feel shy or nervous about spending time with new people or people you don’t know very well. If you’re invited to something you’re interested in, go for it! If you’re shy, try saying yes whenever you’re invited to something, even if you have hesitation or fear. If you don’t enjoy yourself, allow yourself to say no the next time you’re invited to a similar setting.
Be kind to yourself, set reasonable goals and remember that making new friends and building bonds takes time.
Tips to strengthen connections
Everyone feels lonely sometimes. There are things you can do to deepen your social bonds in your personal life, and at work. For example:
- Make time. You may feel stretched, which makes it hard to prioritize connecting with your friends or making new friends. This is an important strategy to reduce loneliness.
- Be dependable. Strong connections are made by keeping commitments you’ve made both at work and in your personal life. This shows respect and lets people know you’re there for them.
- Open up. It can feel uncomfortable to show vulnerability and share things about yourself and your experiences. When you do, you let people know you trust them. This can deepen your connection with them.
- Lend an ear. When you make space to listen to people’s concerns and support them to find solutions to their challenges, you’re building connection.
- Be kind, show gratitude and pay it forward. Kindness, gratitude and generosity of spirit can help boost your mood, improve your well-being and create connection.
It can be hard to prioritize social connection and address loneliness, but making the time can leave you feeling healthier, happier, and more productive.
A word of caution
The virtual world has opened an opportunity to connect with people with similar interests from around the globe. Online connections can offer individuals with whom to play online games, learn new skills or discuss hobbies or interests. These opportunities can reduce loneliness.
Social media can also add to our sense of loneliness for any of these reasons:
- If you believe the happy images and events people share online represent most of their life experience, you may feel your life is boring by comparison.
- Most people only post highlights of happy times and don’t share their inevitable moments of frustration or isolation. People you connect with online are also more likely to exaggerate or outright lie about themselves and their circumstances.
- Cyberbullying is also a reality. People who are more civil and respectful face-to-face may be more willing to share nasty or unkind comments online.
- Although most people online are also looking for connection, some may be looking to take advantage of others. Even with great online discussions, keep your personal and financial information confidential. Be sure to video chat with someone before you choose to meet them in person, to help eliminate deception.
While these cautions aren’t intended to prevent you from making social connections online, keep them in mind.
Share this resource with anyone who may feel lonely.
Additional resources
- Work-life balance tips. Try these tips and strategies to help reduce stress in your personal and work life.
- Assessing your current situation. Ask yourself these questions to get a picture of what's going on with you right now. Take this list to your health professional to help them provide you with wellness options.
- Health resources. Use these tools and resources to manage your health and wellness and to help others. Find credible information about managing well-being and mental health-related concerns.
- Mental health apps. Access links to free evidence-based apps, some with paid options, to help with your mental health and wellness. The list includes apps for Windows, IOS and Android devices.